MISUSING MAGIC

#3 (From the series "MISUSE")

Me and my apothecary-like bedroom, at age 15, were not expecting what had just happened. (I used the term “apothecary” more for the size reference, rather than the aesthetic). My trashcan was fuming with smoke of the spell I had just executed. My small bedroom window couldn’t let the smoke get out any faster than I wanted. My parents quite kindly, yet, angrily knocked on my door, asking “Are you smoking in there?!” To which I yapped “Leave me alone!”, and they did that time really leave me alone. Alone, with a love spell written on paper I had just burnt. Had it worked? Kind-of.

Had I just discovered that life has short-cuts to get what you want? Kind-of.

I am in no way proud of these remarks, but, to some extent they do reveal a greater meaning upon how magic can be very real, and that leaves us to understand that “witches” can be real too. Kind-of.

What has deemed the popularisation of the witch? Besides the aesthetic portrayal of a witch (which I will not go into, spare me of my words to spit out something more useful rather than just our obsessions with appearance), what is the allure to her? And today it appears to be that more and more women wish to be like them.

“Cyber-witches”, are a new phenomenon, and one that muddles me. Besides the religious aspect, of Wicca let’s say, I don’t think the cyber-witch on my feed is showing to the world “real” magic. And I always believed that “witches”, “magic”, all hold a more mystic approach to them. You just don’t go around stating you’re a witch. You hide it from the world. You do it for yourself. You do it for the greater good. And because if you don’t do it with greater intentions, everyone knows, and they’ll come after you. Remember, witches were hunted.

Truthfully, it is very charming and encouraging to see modern-age women seeking spiritual growth, guidance, and a feeling of purpose in their now very busy lives. There is a great dynamic overflow of “control” when women come together, especially under the belief that they are indeed powerful beings (which I do not doubt that we are), in this case being witches. The empathic state of being in the company of another woman willingly, and not competitively, and acknowledging that together they are stronger, can only be described as ‘Magical’. I’m sure that all women have felt this at some point.

However, the term “Witch” has negative connotations associated to it. In every sense it does not mean merely someone who is interested in performing magical arts, moreover concluding as someone who is actually capable and has a liking of causing harm to others. As such mentioned in previous “MISUSE” articles, there are spiritual, archaic tools for humans to use, to guide us, but ultimately to use as weapons as well. Thus, we’re so fixated on the romanticisation of the hot-looking, intelligent witch, we have completely forgotten the Magician, the mage. And we are all magicians.

Magic of course can be misused, and very so abused. The Witch/Magician then, in some sense, if not wanting to cause harm, can though intervene with the tangible reality. Is it so unimaginable to intervene into our lives beyond with just words and direct actions? Can mystical forces allow us to, let’s say, get that raise we’ve been wanting, and having already asked our boss for, who seems to ignore us? What if we cast a spell tonight, to get that raise, and suddenly the next day, we got it? It could be coincidence… Or, could it be magic?

My teenage example only proves that if I wanted to accomplish something, I could. And that was more due to the great, overconfident persona I was. I believed that casting a love spell could get the boy I liked, to like me back. And he did, and he called me up out of the blue (in my belief) the same night. It’s not important to state how that affair went, though it is important to state that, if I believed magic was real, it was, and if I believed I am a witch, I was. Back then, people didn’t need aesthetics, to do such things. I wore my pijamas, and thought, “Okay I’m like so powerful”. Even my friends would ask me to do spells for them. Because I believed I was so powerful yet had a limited idea of what this power could do, I cautiously always warned them about the use of magic. In retrospect, this was wise of me. Thinking back on these interactions, it is funny to see how much influence my “witchy” side had on my friends, and how they also perceived me to have such powers. Though, together, we conjured boyfriends with spells, and if that isn’t a girl’s girl thing, then what is?

After every spell though, I felt as if something backfired. The relationships always started off great, but then would take a bad turn. I didn’t blame the boys, or myself, but that I had gotten in-part something that I wanted, so I shouldn’t be greedy now expecting more. So, I stopped casting spells.

Let me not lie; I executed one last spell at a much older age later on. Around the age of 23. This was “scarier” and actually, concretely made me believe in magic, and not just in the sense that because I sought it to be true, it was. No, this time meant that there are hidden forces greater than us, connected to us. I was older, thus I presume smarter, but not smart enough to acknowledge what I was aiming for then. I will not reveal the story, though it would be my word against yours in any case, to have someone believe in me. I’ve never taken pride in what I did, I’ve found it quite ridiculous to state it farther out than just my very tight-knit circle of comrades. But, even the two times I told friends, my voice trembled. But now you know as well that I had used “magic”, and it was powerful. Kind-of.

Hence through every spell cast, again there was confidence, and there was a request sent out to the universe. I’ve always been an avid believer of “one’s word”. Meaning that if we state something, we actually manifest it, we create it, we allow it to be born into the real world, beside our own thought. I read a few months ago “The Moon and Serpent Bumper Book of Magic” by Alan Moore and Steve Moore. While this book is more for play rather than to digest, it does offer some excellent points on how magic exists all around us, and is birthed quite regularly. From an idea in your head, to the pen, to the paper you write it on, suddenly this thing that did not exist anywhere, only in between your frontal lobes, is now out in the world. It actually is. Do we actually understand how significant that is? If we simply understand that, then what if we try to take it to the next level?

Let’s say that celestial skies are our paper, and that our words are our pen. If we somehow manage to scream, sing, chant, anyway you want to “write” our words for the skies to read, then we can achieve bringing them forth, with the skies. While we always consider ourselves proud to muster up something, I can see that life never lets you do anything by yourself. You’ve either always used some sort of tools, said the right words, looked in the right place at the right time, something always guides us, or allows us to guide “it”, and perhaps we can call it the “muse”. We are not-so far from magic as we believe, we are constantly tied with it. Magic is just a word, compiled to be the sum of a few things such as: intent, desire, trust, guidance; All of which can be attributed to the feeling of oneness. Oneness is knowing we are one with everything around us, being centred to ourselves. If we are truly synchronised with our psyche and true, selfless desires, then we can achieve true oneness. The clever magician, the sage, knows their power, controls it, conceals it, and only ever uses it as a testament that will bring forth a momentary prognostication that will usher us subtly through our times of hardship.

I’m afraid that love spells don’t belong in that category of “oneness”. Nor that raise you want can be achieved through magic: Your boss is an idiot, you better send in that resignation letter. The one “spell” that I chose to not reveal to you, was not really a spell; It was a cry for help to the universe, at a time where I felt very aware and sure of myself, and the universe simply “sent” me a sign to get out of a situation I didn’t want to be in. I already knew I didn’t want to be in that situation, but I needed something to prove to me that what’s in my mind, is very much justified.

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Thank you for joining me, in this more personal post of the “MISUSE” series. The previous “MISUSE” posts have been hyperlinked above in two words, where you can use the posts to understand these terms I use better, and get a better comprehension of what I mean when I use them. If of course you choose to submerge yourself into my own logic.